A positive batch of memories

Today, I turned to the mixer and a favorite recipe to soothe my sadness. Each year on Jan. 8, I like to do something that my mom and I enjoyed doing together. Most years, I turn to baking and for the past nine years it has been an even sweeter tradition because one or both of my children help me make a sweet treat. Of course, I can always count on both of them to help me eat our creation, and the smiles on my children's small faces make it that much easier to mark my least favorite day of the year.

It has been 17 years since the day my mom died after a brief battle with breast cancer. My tradition of doing an activity that brings happy memories of my mom stems from the value she instilled in me to always focus on the positive. Baking was one of the many ways she showed her love to me through the effort to create delicious desserts and the lessons she taught me about baking. But most importantly, the time we spent together mixing up various creations left me with special memories and insight to pass on to my own children.

Today while my 4-year-old daughter Pamela and I mixed up a batch of allergy-friendly blondies I thought about how blessed I was to have had such a wonderful, positive influence in my life. She taught me through her own example to always look for the positive. Sure, things will sometimes make me mad, frustrated and sad. But it doesn't help to dwell on those negative feelings. Rather, find a way to move forward, turn a situation around, use a not-so-great experience to help someone else, and focus on the positive ingredients in life. That is the mantra I have held onto since my son Joseph's diagnosis with life-threatening food allergies nine years ago.

Sometimes it is challenging to navigate a life with allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, along with having asthma. And those challenges often make me wish I had a mom to lean on for support. But as the mom Joseph depends on, I have always made sure we focus on what he can have and find creative ways to give him plenty of safe, yummy options. For example, tonight I made homemade pizza for dinner thanks to King Arthur Flour gluten-free bread and pizza mix, Daiya mozzarella style shreds, homemade tomato sauce and bacon. Joseph was thrilled to hear he was having one of his favorite meals. There was no whining about not being able to pick up a pizza from the neighborhood pizza place. Joseph is well-aware that the wheat- and dairy-filled pizza delivered in a box could end his life, so not something he's upset about missing. He's much happier expending his energy breathing in the smells of fresh pizza coming from our oven and excitedly asking when it will be ready.

My mom and dad and me on my 3rd birthday.

On days like today, there are moments when a positive outlook simply can't withstand the sadness I feel   missing my mom and wishing that my two children could have met her. I know that they would have had so much fun spending time with her and benefitting from her nurturing spirit. I can't put a positive spin on that void, but I can be glad that I have so many happy stories about her that I share with my children. I am thankful that Joseph and Pamela, who is named after my mom, know her through my memories and photographs.

The blondies Pamela and I made today are from the original Toll House Blonde Brownies recipe my mom and I used so many years ago. Of course, I substitute most of the ingredients to make it allergy-friendly, using King Arthur Flour gluten-free multipurpose flour, an egg replacer, Earth Balance dairy-free, soy-free natural buttery spread and Enjoy Life mega chunks. But when those blondies come out of the oven, the delicious result evokes happy memories from my childhood and creates new memories with my own children, all while helping my least favorite day of the year become a bit more tolerable.

F is for food allergies

F is for…

Food allergies. The FAAN Walk for Food Allergy in our area just so happened to coincide with the "Letter F" theme for my daughter in our school this week. We were among several hundred people, including many from our local support group NC FACES (Food Allergic Children Excelling Safely), who gathered on a rainy Saturday morning. The committee did a fabulous job setting up the venue so we could register, peruse sponsor tables and participate in activities under cover. The rain had slowed to a sprinkle while we all enjoyed walking around the lake. Even if it were pouring while we walked together, it wouldn't have mattered. It is a fabulous to feel the support the walk showcases.

Fantastic, not fearful. The annual event is a chance for my 9-year-old son to feel like part of the gang. Joseph's allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard don't isolate him or make him feel anxious at the Walk for Food Allergy. Instead it is a time when he feels support from the hundreds of other kids just like him, along with friends and family who gather just for all those kids with food allergies.

Fever. Yes, Pamela really embraced this "F" week theme. Unfortunately, she has been fighting a bad cold complete with cough and a fever. So she and my husband, Gary, had to miss the food allergy walk. But she was happy to wear her walk shirt to support her brother from home. While Joseph missed having them at the walk, he feels the support from Gary and Pamela in the way help keep him navigate life with food allergies each day.

Fundraising. The walk allows kids like my son to feel a sense of community, while also raising money to advance the efforts for research, education, awareness and advocacy. I am so proud that Joseph contributed his own money that he had saved, and even his little sister Pamela chipped into the cause with her own cash. My 4-year-old said, "I want to help my Joseph so he doesn't get sick."

Fall favorites. The food allergy walk is one of many fun, Fall activities we have been enjoying. Fall colors and shapes are natural subjects for various crafts that involve lots of colorful paint, glitter, paper and glue. Pamela especially enjoyed painting a big fall tree and then throwing colorful leaf confetti onto her creation. We recently visited a local pumpkin patch, where Joseph and Pamela had fun checking out the huge pumpkins in the field and choosing their own smaller, orange beauties to paint. My favorite find was the Long Island Cheese Pumpkins. Not only was I happy to find something connected to my Long Island roots here in North Carolina, but also I was thrilled that the pumpkin yielded wonderful puree to make tasty allergen-free pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread.

Fresh fruit. Thankfully Joseph's allergies do not prevent him from enjoying fresh fruit. Each season brings variety in the fruits we enjoy. Fresh apples and oranges are in abundance right now and make healthy, simple snacks that we have been eating each day.

Fitness and football. The weather, until Saturday, had been sunny and less humid. Perfect for all of the tennis my son enjoys playing. Whether he's been practicing, competing in matches or playing with friends, Joseph has been playing tennis about four days a week. He is having a blast and exercising his lungs, which seems to be helping his asthma. He also enjoyed playing football in his homeschool gym class, a sport we especially enjoying watching while we cheer for our favorite college football teams. So of course, I had to work football into our "F theme" week and brought out the football beanbag toss game to play in school. The kids have fun with a little math thrown in.

 

Fudge. Pamela was thrilled when I mentioned that fudge starts with "F." So we pulled out the allergy-friendly recipe for fudge that we use each year during the holidays. I use the "Oh Fudge" recipe from "The Divvies Bakery Cookbook", using Vance's DariFree milk alternative and Enjoy Life Mega Chunks. What a treat to indulge in the melt-in-your-mouth chocolate! It certainly brought a smile to Pamela's face during a week she's been sad because being sick has meant she's had to miss fun events like the food allergy walk and her dance class.

Footprints. Pamela will be stepping her little bare feet in various colors of paint and walking across a long sheet of paper to make footprints as one of our "F" week crafts. It is such a messy, fun craft. I'm sure we will be enjoying more fun, Fall activities even after "F" week is over. I'm glad that we were able to participate in the FAAN Walk for Food allergy so that Joseph was able to feel the support of hundreds of people leaving their footprints of support for kids like him with food allergies.

Fellow chocolate lovers learn patience

We have been reading the delightful book, "Betty Bunny Loves Chocolate Cake" by Michael B. Kaplan, every night for the past week. The story of a precocious, young bunny who has a tough time waiting to indulge in her slice of yummy chocolate cake quickly became a favorite for my 4-year-old daughter Pamela when she borrowed it from the library months ago. She was thrilled to find it in a bookstore this week.

So each night, my daughter and I fall asleep dreaming of chocolate cake. Since we are chocolate lovers just like Betty Bunny, we decided it was time to make a chocolate cake for ourselves. We also love college football in this house, so I decided the chocolate cake should have football picks decorating the top so that I could pass it off as football Saturday cake.

We made the cake using King Arthur Flour's Gluten-Free Chocolate Cake mix and Cybele Pascal's recipe for chocolate buttercream frosting from The Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook. I had told Pamela the night before that we would make the cake, so she had to demonstrate some of the patience Betty Bunny struggles with waiting for her cake. The dessert followed homemade chicken noodle soup — another favorite for Pamela. That meal also requires patience as I make the broth by simmering a chicken carcass, onion, parsley, celery and carrots one day and then make the broth, chicken and vegetables into soup with Tinkyada gluten-free rice pasta the next day. But everyone at the table agreed that our allergen-free meal of chicken noodle soup with bread made from King Arthur Flour Gluten-Free Bread mix, followed by chocolate cake, was worth the wait.

Nine years ago, when we embarked on life with food allergies, I needed patience to make recipes work with substitutions and to find products that are safe and taste great. Those also were worth the wait as we are eating much better than we did at the start of this journey.

We are gearing up for an event this month that help support my 9-year-old son, who is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard. The FAAN (Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network) Walk for Food Allergy, which is held throughout the United States, raises money for education, advocacy, awareness and research for food allergies. Sometimes it tests my patience to wait for more people to understand what it's like for my son to live with the knowledge that one bite of food could kill him, or for research to progress to the point of a cure.

But each year, when we walk with hundreds of others who do understand, and who are at an event to support my son and the nearly 6 million children like him with food allergies, it makes it that much easier to wait for change. We await the food allergy walk each year and it is so wonderful to indulge in a day of fun and support, just like Betty Bunny enjoyed satisfying her need for chocolate.

Author's message resonates beyond sports

Joseph sat on the edge of his seat, occasionally chuckling, as he listened to sports journalist Mike Lupica relate anecdotes from the world of sports and explain how he comes up with story ideas during a book signing for his latest book, "True Legend". My 9-year-old son was so excited to meet a famous author of books he enjoys and it was extra exciting that he met Lupica on the day the new book came out.

Joseph especially enjoyed listening to the sportswriter talk about his inspiration for and process writing his first young adult novel, "Travel Team", about a group of kids who were cut from a travel basketball team. Lupica's focus on kids' resilience in overcoming adversity rings true beyond sports. Sure, the theme resonates with Joseph from an athletic standpoint. More than once, he has had to brush off a tough loss on the tennis court and go back out there for another match, or deal with the disappointment of not being able to participate in an event when he thought he had earned a spot to compete.

But, as a child with life-threatening allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, he also can relate to the need to rise above obstacles in his daily life. I am proud of the way he overcomes various issues, whether he is ensuring his safety by avoiding an unsafe food or event, keeping his head high while the target of unkind comments about his allergies, moving past anxiety about a potentially dangerous situation, or focusing on what he can have and do, in spite of his allergies and asthma.

The book signing is an example of an event that Joseph can attend without worrying about his allergies. I have always championed books and I am so pleased that bookstores like Quail Ridge Books & Music in Raleigh host authors so that kids like Joseph, who love to read, can be inspired. It also is wonderful that the organizers keep it simple and focused on the reason people are there, without adding food into the mix. Joseph and all the other kids just wanted to hear what Lupica had to say. Nobody was thinking about snacks while they were hanging on every word to gain insight about the new book's characters.

Joseph was thrilled to meet an author who has already given him joy through his stories and perhaps, a bit of a boost about the honor in dealing with some of life's challenges.

Cake for my princess

Tiny, sparkly, pink hearts continue to appear throughout my house more than a week after we celebrated my daughter Pamela's 4th birthday. The confetti, while insistent in its ability to dodge the vacuum and travel to a seemingly new place each day, makes me smile because it reminds me of the sparkle lighting my little girl's eyes during her princess party. Her sweet face lit up the most when she saw the princess doll cake I had made for her.

She was thrilled to see Princess Aurora surrounded by a sweet, pink, poofy dress. I was excited to make it for her, as well. Birthdays are special and we love to make our two children feel extra special on their birthday. I love planning their parties and creating cakes that make them smile.

I have been collecting pictures of birthday cakes since my 9-year-old son, Joseph, was a baby. It didn't matter that I couldn't follow the cake recipes or use the exact toppings and ingredients they recommended — those pictures don't cater to my food-allergic son's diet free of peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard. I just consult the photos for ideas. If one of my children wants a certain type of cake, whether a Harry Potter golden snitch or a princess doll, I will find a way to make it. The creative process is so fun for me and I love seeing the joy on their faces when I present their cake. The princess doll cake was one in particular that I had been eyeing for a long time. So it was a blast for me to figure out how to layer the cake shapes, hollow out the middle for the tall princess doll and wrap Aurora's hair up in plastic to keep her locks frosting-free. For this cake I made one of my family's favorite cakes using King Arthur Flour gluten-free chocolate cake mix (substituting the eggs, of course) and Cybele Pascal's vanilla frosting recipe from her cookbook, The Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook, thickening it as needed to work properly for dress decorating.

Pamela does not have food allergies like her brother, but she eats the same diet as him at home. Because of her propensity to get up in the middle of meals to pick up a toy or go give Joseph a kiss, I don't feel confident that his environment would continue to be safe if she is eating unsafe foods in the house. But I do take her out on little dates to go for pizza or macaroni and cheese, and she washes her hands and mouth as soon as we walk in the door. She knows it is important to keep Joseph safe and is happy to take the steps necessary to do so. Pamela enjoys our lunch dates, but she never begrudges her brother because she is not able to eat the same food at home nor does she whine about not getting a treat when she is out with Joseph.

I'm proud of my little princess for caring more about her brother than food choices. Perhaps it's just because the rules about food have been in place in our home as long as she's been alive, and I certainly have improved in my allergy-free cooking during the past 9 years. But I still give her a lot of credit for just accepting that she eats the gluten-free, dairy-free pizza I make at home and she wouldn't even think to ask for a cake she sees in the bakery displays to bring home for her birthday. After all, she wants her big brother to be able to enjoy her birthday cake as much as she does. When my kids are devouring the allergen-free sweet treats we make, whether birthday cakes, cupcakes or blondies, they are not thinking about allergies. They are just thinking about how much they are enjoying their yummy dessert.

Both of my children had a blast playing princess-themed games, making crafts and eating dessert at Pamela's party with their friends and family. As with all parties we host, the snacks, "royal" dinner and dessert were all free of the foods to which Joseph is allergic so he could feel safe enjoying himself, just like his little sister.

As my birthday girl relished her pink frosting and homemade, dairy-free ice cream, I was thrilled that I could help add to her princess sparkle on her special day.

Summer treats and Lego feats

"Stir it up, put it in the oven, press the button, then take it out." My sister Linda and I recited that little phrase many times when we were kids while we stirred chocolate syrup into our bowls of ice cream to create our own chocolaty, cold confection. Only when I recently taught my 3-year-old daughter Pamela to do the same thing with her ice cream, did it occur to me that it was odd that we were pretending to cook ice cream. It was just a fun way to enjoy our treat and now my daughter thinks so, too.

We celebrated the official start of summer this week with homemade, dairy-free ice cream and cherry cobbler. Pamela opted to have a bowl of ice cream so she could happily stir in Ah! Laska organic chocolate syrup, while the rest of us enjoyed a scoop on top of cherry cobbler, still warm from the oven. My cherry pitter has been getting a lot of use this month. I love this time of year when my fingers are stained with cherry juice. I've been doling out bowls of fresh cherries, fruit kebabs stacked with fresh cherries, grapes, blueberries and watermelon, and baking cherry pie (using Cybele Pascal's pie crust recipe from "The Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook") and cobbler. Clearly, I love fresh cherries and I'm glad that my children enjoy the healthy fruit, as well. I'm always happy to revisit some of our favorite summertime treats that I blogged about last July.

While we enjoyed our summer dessert, my kids and I discussed some traditional summer activities that we have already enjoyed. Pamela is thoroughly enjoying her first foray into swimming lessons while Joseph had a wonderful time experiencing camp for the first time earlier this month.

Joseph, 9, who is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, along with having asthma, was thrilled to attend a Lego Mindstorm Robotics camp near our home. He had not expressed an interest in attending camp before. After all, he is busy with tennis, indoor lacrosse and other activities to keep him busy. But when he heard he could spend a week building a Lego robot and learning to program it, his desire to attend camp skyrocketed.

I couldn't have asked for a better inaugural camp experience for my son. I knew that because the program went from 9 a.m. to noon each day, the chance for food issues would be lower. I first consulted the camp website where the camp organizer listed the schedule for each day and I loved on many levels that he was so organized. When I emailed him, he confirmed my assumption when I saw no snack time listed on the schedule, that there would be no food at the camp. Joseph was thrilled that he would be able to attend a fun camp and not worry about being around unsafe food.

I sent Joseph's allergy action plan, along with a sheet explaining how to use an EpiPen when I sent in his registration. I also talked to the camp organizer before the week started and asked if I could bring a box of wipes for the campers to wipe their hands off. He completely understood my desire to ensure that the campers didn't have any allergens left on their hands from breakfast or a snack they had munched on in the car on the way to camp before touching the same Lego pieces and computer as Joseph. He had no problem putting the wipes at the door and reminding all of the kids to wipe their hands each day when we signed our campers in. Putting out wipes might seem like a small action, but I was so thankful that they took me seriously and ensured the wipes were used. That has not always been the response I have received, even when food has been present. So I am extra appreciative of their efforts.

 

When we arrived for the first day of camp, I was thrilled that the teen running the camp and his mom were conscientious about Joseph's allergies and the medication pack he carries. The 18-year-old girl who was helping with the camp told me that she too has food allergies and was well versed in how to use an EpiPen. I felt like her being there was just a little extra bonus in making me feel good about my son's well being while at the camp.

Joseph had an amazing week working with other kids to build and program their team's robot, Lightning Bot. He was so proud when his team even won the competition on the final day of camp. I was thrilled that he was able to experience such an enjoyable, enriching week without worrying about his allergies.

I'm happy that, as summer officially begins, my family has already stirred up some traditional summer fun and yummy treats. 

Fun, allergy-friendly times in Happy Valley

My family and I spent a fantastic weekend visiting my alma mater. All I wanted for my 40^th birthday was a trip to Penn State where I could enjoy with my kids a place I hold dear and spend time with some amazing friends. But traveling with a food-allergic child can be stressful. For me, that anxiety is eased with preparation, consideration and awareness.

I don't allow Joseph, who is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, to eat any food that is not prepared by me. So before we embarked on our 8-hour road trip, I loaded up the cooler, insulated bags and lunch boxes with safe food for my 9-year-old son. Lots of wipes and paper towels, along with disposable placemats also are staples. Of course, we don't go anywhere without Joseph's medical pack containing two EpiPens, Benadryl, his inhaler and a copy of his allergy action plan. In addition when we travel, I make sure all of his daily medications have a full prescription, and pack his nebulizer and Xopenex, and two additional EpiPens that are usually kept at home.

Once I booked our feather-free suite (Joseph has asthma and environmental allergies, as well), complete with a refrigerator and microwave, it was time to plan the menu with Joseph. After all, I want him to enjoy his food while he's watching the rest of us sample restaurant fare. My daughter Pamela, 3, also eats only Joseph's food when we travel so that she doesn't create an added risk for him.

I cooked and froze several entrees, generally enough so that they each could get two meals out of each dish. I have included a sampling of his trip menu at the end of this blog post. We also packed plenty of fruit and non-perishable food, such as Enjoy Life granola that both kids like to eat for breakfast or as a snack, single-serve applesauce, Enjoy Life cookies and Green Mountain Gringo tortilla strips that made an easy snack eaten plain in the car and a plate of nachos in the hotel room with a little melted Daiya cheddar and mozzarella. I had frozen some cupcakes and cake slices that we had made for celebrations during the previous month so the kids could have special treats, as well.

The biggest treat for them was spending time with friends. The consideration and kindness of those friends made it possible for Joseph to just safely enjoy himself, instead of being singled out or anxious because of his allergies. Before the trip, my friend Michele asked what snacks would be OK for her kids to eat near Joseph and what they could do to make him safe. I asked her just to avoid anything with peanuts, peanut butter or tree nuts and asked that everyone wash their hands after meals. Not only did Michele and her kids avoid nutty snacks and wash their hands after each meal, but also they did so without mentioning it. Each time we stopped to eat at a restaurant, I wiped Joseph's table area and chair and placed his paper placemat in front of him. As he pulled his own plastic cutlery, juice box or water bottle and safe food out of his lunch box, the happy chatter of friends continued. There were no disparaging comments about what Joseph couldn't eat or begrudging attitudes about washing their hands.

The simple steps they took to help Joseph feel safe without making a big deal about it or making him feel bad about it, means the world to me. Their kindness helped us all to enjoy our time in Happy Valley. Joseph and Pamela were thrilled to meet my friend Stephanie and listen to us reminisce while we walked through campus one afternoon, stopping of course to climb on the statue at the Nittany Lion shrine. They had a blast hanging out with Michele's kids, Jason, Brooke and Ava. Whether they were checking out footballs at the Penn State All-Sports Museum, posing by the Joe Paterno statue, having water battles in the hotel pool or playing mini golf, Joseph got to enjoy himself as one of the gang.

As the summer travel season heats up, it's important to decide and review what steps will result in an enjoyable and safe trip for food-allergic family members. Everyone has different comfort levels about what is safe and what works for him. Food-allergic families can find resources about traveling with food allergies from sources such as the Food Allergy Initiative (FAI), Kids with Food Allergies (KFA), Living Without magazine, Gina Clowes' article, "Food allergy tips: You can take it with you", and The Nut-Free Mom's top travel tips. The AllergyEats website and app also allow people to find ratings regarding food allergies about restaurants in the towns they are visiting.

I'm thrilled that preparation and kindness helped us all to leave State College, Pennsylvania, with such happy memories.

Joseph's trip menu included:

• Baked ziti, using Tinkyada pasta, my homemade tomato sauce using fresh tomatoes, Daiya mozzarella shreds and ground beef;
• Chicken fingers. Cut chicken breasts into strips, rinse in water and coat with crushed Lay's potato chips before baking;
• Pizza, using King Arthur Flour gluten-free pizza crust mix, homemade, fresh tomato sauce, Daiya mozzarella shreds, and bacon;
• Turkey burgers, made with ground turkey, fresh grated zucchini, applesauce and salt. I didn't order his favorite Ener-G tapioca hamburger buns on time, so we made bread using King Arthur Flour gluten-free bread mix. It worked well to have the bread slices anyway, because I could also use the bread to make jam sandwiches using strawberry jam we had made and froze after strawberry picking;
• Banana muffins (with Enjoy Life mega chunks) and applesauce muffins. These are great to have for snacks or breakfast. My favorite recipes for these muffins are in "The Parent's Guide to Food Allergies", by Marianne S. Barber. I just substitute a gluten-free flour mix in these recipes.